gemkind was never a gendered society. the entire concept of gender was foreign to me. humans seem to work on a mini-caste system that is built upon gender, race, among other things. all nebulous, silly things to build a system upon, and it should be abolished, but that's another conversation entirely. anyway, rationalizing gender in that way made it a little easier to understand. still nebulous; but no matter, I had ways of digging into that witch's cauldron of incomprehensible gender ideas. These "ways" were being active on my in-source equivalent of tumblr and ao3 and reading fanfictions and headcanons and other fandom slop for my in-source hyperfixation, Camp Pining Hearts! A Joy, really. i initially had no interest in gender because i had no interest in Earth or humans at all, but that changed over time. My friend, Steven, is a human-gem boy, and that always fascinated me. what does it mean to be a "boy"? As opposed to not a boy? it must matter, or else there would be no reason for this language equilibrium to distinguish between boy or not-boy objects.

humans and other gems use "she/her" pronouns on gems by default, and i have a theory as to why. well, one Rose Quartz and her Pearl were on this planet for a very long while--- and with that comes mingling with the human race as well... humans must have projected their gender ideals onto the early Crystal Gems, and they must have accepted it. No doubt Rose Quartz must have been excited to be a "woman", just seems like the sort of thing she'd like. as well as the Renegade Pearl, i would say they were some of the first gems with genders. So, by that point, any gems entering the Earth colony's language equilibrium bubble would just use she/her by default, if that makes sense.

i never minded these pronouns. if not for lack of understanding what they meant. but even when i became to better understand human ideas of gender, i didnt mind them. they didnt bring me joy but they didn't disturb me. this still holds true, as well. In terms of this world, as a young whelp, i never felt feminine. I suspect it was because of society's perception of my race. I have a lot of hair on areas not deemed feminine to have it on, but out of spite i never got rid of it. for a while i identified as a boygirl or girlboy or whatever, then when i realized i am a lesbian, my gender got even more...interesting, i suppose.

i only dropped the she/her pronouns once i realized that i am also a gem. because me being a gem is incredibly integral to my gender identity now--- i dont feel trans. sure, here, i was born a "woman", and sure, in source, she/her pronouns were used on me--- but i dont feel trans. i only use the label for clarity and utility's sake. i went from being a gem to being a gem with some boy on top, not from being a girl to being a boy. its not that i switched sides, i moreso realized i was beyond the human understanding of the planes of gender, then decided to take a shard of that plane for myself. i may not be gifted at analogies.

anyway, me being an alien explains a lot when it comes to my lack of care for rigid gender or sexuality definitions. fuck it!